It’s me again, your favorite Boiled Frog..🐸🐸

It’s me again, your favorite Boiled Frog..🐸🐸

I am trying to build up my own self-worth, so if you will just humor me lol.

I have often wondered does the Narcissistic person KNOW that what they are doing is wrong.

I mean why would you purposefully want to hurt, harm, break down to nothing the very person you claim to love?? Take away their very heart and soul and leave them an empty shell, that they think only you can fill??

I have told several people over time, “IF this is LOVE!! Please HATE me!!

Part of the slowing cranking up the heat was ‘gaslighting’ one of mine was isolation.

It started right after the honeymoon, “They don’t have to go anymore” was first conversation the first Sunday morning after coming home. “Dad doesn’t go with Mom” so… oh… and where I wanted to go to church was so far away... (15 miles) we don’t have the money for gas.

We don’t have the money for gas would slowly become a normal reply especially when it came to going to my neck of the woods (again 15 miles) but lol Walmart was 13 miles away and work was a few miles further.  

You know sadly we would drive all over the place (50+ miles) to look at something that was interesting to them…. HUMMMMMM 🚩🚩🚩

It wasn’t just the distance and gas. It was also just excuses after excuses.

After any holiday, I would get a new excuse to why we could easily go to their parents’ house, but I had to go alone to my parents’ house. They would ride home with their sister.

I would make excuses to my family when they asked where they were at. OH, they didn’t feel well, they stayed to help their dad do something… They this that and the other… lies and excuses I am guilty of telling to protect them for almost 17 years.

How do you tell your family... This person just doesn’t want anything to do with you.

It wasn’t just family, they didn’t like my friends either, my high school friend was not allowed to come over to our house, and of my 3 college friends, they only allowed one of them over, (the pretty thin blonde). Now, I was allowed, YES ALLOWED, to hang out with the other 2 friends but only if…. (WINK WINK)

(WINK,WINK) was something that I learned fast... If I wanted to do something they didn’t want to do or needed money… WINK, WINK and maybe……. 

When I met my bestest friend in the whole wild world, I was not allowed to talk to her, they did not like her. I was not allowed to even speak her name… This was one area that I was very defiant, not that they knew it.

When I needed to talk to her, I would go in the bathroom, turn on the water, play music, pretend to shower, or go to the bathroom and talk... not long but just long enough to say what we needed to say. SO much to the point that after I was out of the relationship when she calls me, I have to go potty… (It’s a joke now)

There is more, much more. This is just the beginning...

Until next time. Be kind to yourself! Practice self-care and don't let someone else define you.

 

ML