My Life as a Boiled Frog

Where to start? .. I could start in the beginning, but I really didn't know what was beginning for me until the end.

 I'll start with the title, "My Life as a Boiled Frog".

 

The relationship was over, and I found myself filling out paperwork to get me and my children on food stamps and state aid. They asked me to fill out some papers and that is when I found I had 3 pages of abuse, and they referred me to get counselling at the local psychiatric hospital for help. I remember the lady asking me lots of questions and explaining things to me, and I asked her "How did I get here??" She then explained about the boiled frog.

 

If you place a frog in a pot of boiling water, it will immediately jump out. But, if you place the frog in cold water and slowly turn the heat up, it will acclimate itself to the slowly rising temperature until it is to late and be boiled to death.  I was a boiled frog.

 

In the beginning, it was holding hands, being a gentleman and going to family gatherings, Church on Sunday's and occasionally on Wednesdays, Thanksgiving and Christmas.

There were a few red flags, but I ignored them. I was in love, and love conquers all right?

 

One red flag, I started planning a church wedding with friends and family, and he said he wouldn't show up. So, it got downsized to just family and, in my uncle’s, back yard with him officiating. After the wedding on the way to the "honeymoon", it was brought up to me that I had too much family there. My Uncle that married us, his family was there, and my dad’s twin brother’s family was there, cousins that I considered my brothers and Sister (My maid of honor) and my grandparents.

 

The day we came home from our weekend honeymoon, I got up Sunday morning getting ready to go to Church and said something to him about it and he said He didn't have to go with me anymore. In fact, that was the beginning of he didn't have to go anywhere with me anymore.

 

Fun fact, many years later after we had children, I was in the little mom & pop grocery store that I had been going to from the beginning of our marriage, chatting with one of the owners, and it was brought up who I was married to. She looked at me and questioned the name again and said she didn't even know he was married, and she had known him and his family since before he was born.  At that time, I am guessing we had been married 5 to 6 years.

 

So, why am I writing about my life as a boiled frog? Because after years of beating myself up, years of counselling, and a recent run in my Montelukast (Don't take if you are depressed)

I am starting a new chapter; I will not be defined by someone else's beliefs of who I am. I am tired of limiting myself. I am discarding the label of dumb, fat, stupid, ugly, B**.

 

I'm tired!!

 

You know back in the 80's, I knew of Narcissus and how Buttercup got its name. It would not be until the early 2000's that I would find out the rest of the story as legendary Paul Harvey would say.

 

Until next time. Be kind to yourself! Practice self-care and don't let someone else define you.

 

ML